Abuse in relationships 16+
Being in a relationship can be an awesome experience. However, sometimes you may end up in a relationship with someone who turns out to be different than you thought.
What is abuse in relationships?
Abuse can happen within relationships of all ages. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is hurting you, often makes you upset, puts you down constantly or trying to control what you do or who you see, it is wrong and is illegal.
- relationships are all about being happy, having fun and being loving towards one another;
- you should feel loved, safe and free to be yourself;
- if someone makes you do something you don’t want to, makes you feel scared or intimidates you, you need to get help.
Am I in an abusive relationship?
Abuse in teenage relationships is the same as abuse in older relationships – it’s all about power and control.
Does your boyfriend, girlfriend or partner:
- get jealous or possessive of you?
- become angry when you want to spend time with your friends or demand that you spend all your time with them?
- check your phone, email, and social media accounts?
- try and get you to defriend people on Facebook, take down your photos, or stop you messaging your friends?
- always call, text or message you to check where you are and who you’re with?
- tell you what to wear or how to do your hair?
- get aggressive? Do they hit, shove, slap or kick you?
- put you down and make you feel upset or small?
- threaten to harm you – or themselves?
All of these are abuse and controlling behaviours – they are wrong and illegal.
If abuse is happening to you, you’re not to blame. It might feel like you’re alone, but you’re not – you deserve to be safe and help is available.
You shouldn’t confront your abuser on your own. Instead speak to a trusted adult (family member, teacher, youth worker or the police) about what’s happening to you.
What should I do if I’m being physically abused?
It can be hard to tell someone when you are being abused. You may feel like you don’t want to get the other person trouble, you might worry that telling someone will make things worse or you may feel embarrassed.
But remember, physical abuse is wrong and you shouldn’t have to put up with it.
Whatever has happened, it is never your fault and you don’t ever deserve to be abused.
If you’re being abused, you must make sure you get help from someone you trust. If you’re in immediate danger, call the police on 999. Otherwise, you can speak to:
- Voice – were here to help you, no matter what has happened. It is free to talk to us and we don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want us to;
- an adult you can trust – this could include a teacher, a youth worker or support worker. Tell them what’s happening, and ask for their help and advice;
- the police – call 999 in an emergency or 101 to speak to the police.
What can I do if my boyfriend or girlfriend assaults me?
Call the police and make a report
The sooner you get to the police station, the more information you will remember and the police will also be able to take pictures of your injuries to have as evidence.
Get medical help
Injuries will always heal quickest and best with the help of medical professionals – ask an adult you trust to take you to the hospital to get anything seen to by a doctor or nurse.
- Attempt to get revenge: This is only likely to make things worse and can result in you being seriously injured. You can also get into trouble with the police, too.
- Be persuaded to drop the charges: Often the person who committed the assault will try to persuade you to drop the criminal charges. This is particularly likely if you know your attacker. If you do drop charges, the likelihood is that the attacker will go on to assault someone else.
Being assaulted can be extremely frightening and cause both physical and emotional injuries. It is important that you get help from someone you trust.
Who can I speak to who will help?
- Voice – we’re here to help you, no matter what has happened. It is free to talk to us and we don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want us to;
- an adult you can trust – this could include a teacher, a family member, youth worker or support worker. Tell them what’s happening, and ask for their help and advice;
- the police – always call 999 in an emergency. If you want to speak to the police any other time, you can call 101.